Communicating Your End-of-Life Wishes

You plan for your education, your vacations, weddings, the birth of a child, your retirement and for so many other major life events - yet you may rarely think about the need to plan how you want to live in the final phase of your life.

Ours is a death-denying culture. It's not surprising that talking openly about death can seem so difficult. It is vital, however,  to have serious, thoughtful and personal communication on this important subject with loved ones.  It is an opportunity to reduce the potential for anxiety, confusion, frustration and other negative implications of this inevitable time in your life. 

Sharing your end-of-life care preferences with your loved ones now, while you are still able to communicate, can help them make sure that your wishes are followed. You might choose a significant family gathering like a birthday or anniversary as the opportunity to have this conversation, or while you are drawing up your will, doing estate planning or if a medical diagnosis indicates a serious change in your health. Some decisions you may wish to make include:

• What kind of medical treatments or interventions do you think you would want?
• How important is it to be physically independent and stay in your own home?
• Would you prefer to die at home if possible?

These are not simple questions, and your views may change as your physical condition or circumstances change.

It is strongly advised that you put in place an Advance Directive, a document that gives directions for your future health care. Let your doctor know that you are completing an Advance Directive, and ask beforehand about pain and symptom management options and explanations of any treatments and procedures that may seem confusing.  Make sure your doctor is willing to follow your Directive and provide a copy for them as well as for any family members that may be involved in your care.